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My name is Tobey. That's short for Ty's Tobey Two Tone. All my life I've been under-appreciated. Lemme tell ya. When I was just a little pup, I lived with my mom Sashii in New Hampshire. I liked it there. I had my own yard and I got lots of cheese and ham and everyone was nice to me. Then, one day, my mommy and daddy to be came to visit. My mommy-to-be thought I was really handsome. And lemmie tell ya, I was one handsome pup. Unfortunately, my daddy-to-be... He didn't want the competition, and he insisted on my sister. That's Stassie, you can call her 'stuckie' though. Just don't let her hear it. Anyway, the breeder, that's Sue, told them that Stassie was already sold, so they couldn't decide and we were too little to go home with them then anyway. So... My mommy-to-be, she spent days-and-days campaigning for me and my daddy-to-be was just about to give in, when Stassie's buyer fell through. So, at six weeks of age, they came and took my |
| little sister away. Good riddance, I said! When they came I did
my best wag-wag-wag and jumped and played and I knew they were
thinking they shoulda gotten me. But it was too late for them!
After a few months, they decided that my sister needed another
puppy to play with, so they came back up north to visit Sue. I
was still there, but my daddy-to-be.. He wanted to get another
dog! But luckily for him, Sue and my mommy-to-be convinced him
that I was the dog for them. My handsome and debonair look didn't
hurt either, I'm sure.
So they finally took me home with them to this terrible place in Cambridge. Lemmie tell ya, I missed all the other dogs that I grew up with, and right after I get there, you know what my mommy does to me? I couldn't believe it! Although I gotta say, my mean daddy - he did try to stop here - she took me to the vet and they chopped my nuts off! Can you believe that? I used to spend days just licking them! And now... |
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Anyway, now I live in Cambridge, with my mommy and daddy and my
little sister Stassie. I still like dogs better than people, well,
that is, better than people that don't have roast beef. I like
roast beef, you know. And I do wish I still had my nuts. And my
mean daddy, he's always kickin' me, but it could be worse.
That's my little sister over there on the right. Back when she used to be a cute little puppy. Now she looks like a typical anorexic teenage bimbo. You should see here! You would think she didn't get ALL the roastes beefes all the time. Not like I never get anything good to eat. You know, they try and feed me dogfood all the time! Can you believe that? |
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As you can see here, I am far more debonair and good-looking than my family deserves. |